I had so many thoughts running through my head today about how I am going to approach my weight loss. I've had experience in this department before. Last time around I was very successful and lost nearly 100 pounds. Then I got pregnant and all bets were off. I think it's safe to say that this cannot be a diet, no it must be a lifestyle change and one I can maintain for the long haul.
I guess that means no excessive exercising, which is something I used to enjoy quite a bit. I'm trying not to think in long term goals yet, it's much too terrifying. Sort of like how the idea of losing 75 whole pounds is overwhelming, well so is the idea of running a marathon.
Yet, I will do both.
For now let's just say that my exercise goals this week include 30 minutes a day at least 5 times.
See? Total success story in no time.
Today I used my treadmill. Did a full 5 minutes of jogging at the start, then realized I wasn't ready for all that intensity quite yet and decided to tone it down. Alternated walking and jogging for about 10 more minutes. For the second mile I actually alternated every single minute. Walk one, jog one. Made it seem easy. Okay, I lie. Not easy, but less harrowing.
I used to be able to run a 5K in 23 minutes. Even during the first trimester with Oisín I could still bring it in under 25. Now I can't run at all, and even my jogging is slow and forced.
That's okay. This isn't about what I used to do. It's about today, and today I jog-walked a couple of 15 minute miles and felt pretty good. Then tonight darling 14 year old daughter and I went to Turbo Kick at the Y, where I kicked (no turbo involved~from me at least) my way through class while laughing at myself and also saying mean things in my head about pretty much every single thing the instructor told us to do. Just awful stuff I tell you, but I burned 500 calories and my legs are aching already. In a good way.
They have full length mirrors there. FULL LENGTH and WALL TO WALL. You have no choice but to look at yourself. I think I've been in denial up until now about just how large I have become. In the back of my mind I'm still that girl who runs 7 minute miles and can fit into her favorite pair of jeans without undoing the button.
In my heart I AM still that girl.
In the mirror?
Not so much.
Food for today. I'm thinking I will need more tomorrow, this doesn't seem like enough (remember I'm nursing my 2 month old). I don't want to count calories, I'm not ready for that yet, but I guess it couldn't hurt to swing by My Fitness Pal and do a quick run of the numbers, although I'm pretty sure it will be obvious to everyone if my milk is impacted. Babies aren't generally very quiet or understanding about such things.
I only had one bite of cake~I wasn't withholding just thinking about really giving this gluten free thing a solid shot. More on that another day. I'm exhausted.
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